Keep my brain busy

It's been more than a year that I took the courage to let go of the things I wish didn't come to change. But there are realities about being rational that are beyond our control. Change thrills in and speeds on relentlessly like flowing water--not a care in the world whether it might affect human existence like eternity. And so I groped for something that hopefully will fill me with purpose. And to keep my brain busy is the option I had to take wishing that in my little brain's capacity, I will have more to achieve than staying too long under a fever of distress and regret for falling in love with someone who never even loved me in the first place. Times when I felt like I never wanted to see any room for rethinking or recapitulating what's been lost and how I came to be a loser. Times when I hated every solitary moments for it'll only leads me back to memories I so long wanted to let go. And so I ventured into something that might make me the busiest person in order to hide the loneliest emotions.

I took lessons. I keep my mind preoccupied with the practicalities of things than those that entails emotional investments. Now, I can't tell that I have conquered what my heart is aching for. But at least upon feeding my brain I now know the difference between loving and letting go.