si Lord talaga!

lately i've been battling with not really the hardest but still a tough decision for me.

looking back, some years had passed, my cousins invited me to join a certain religious league. it's not really a religion though the members literally pray thousand Hail Mary's every once in a while in a week and do the worshiping thing for like three to four hours every friday. it's a flock of believers that attest that GOD does really exist. i know religious org. is one thing that will deepen one's faith and i gave it a try. but being home already late after every session, my spirit is willing but the body is weak. and i grew weary. i stopped. my cousins would still invite me once in a while but i've had alibis. i never wanted to refuse a very good offer esp. if it's about giving favor to God. it's making me feel guilty.

and so i told myself, "this is a big organization where the entire davao region represents..if i want to really serve you God, i will begin it in my own little community".

to my surprise, God must have been listening that He took it seriously(lol). never in my entire life did i ever wish to handle a big responsibility in a certain community. yes, i want to serve but i never aimed to lead. i never knew what leadership is. even when i was a student, i was content to be just a member of any club or an spectator of everybody's show. i was awfully a complacent and reserved person.

but because of that one instance, people around started to keep pushing me to deal with it when i seemed then to have no choice but take a hold of it. but then as soon as i take charge of my own community, i feel like i've had more trying moments. and sometimes i'd wished that i could go back to my own comfort zone. to hardly able to bring people with us even for an hour moment with God in our little chapel, it's a failure to admit that i've served my own community. yes, i may have served but not to some extent. i've had moments when i felt like quitting.

sabi ko, si Lord talaga!kung saan ako mahina duon ako susubukin.

it's summer here, my co-teachers have been asking me to handle another summer class program in the university. they'd been waiting for me to submit my forms for formal application. BUt i have not decided yet because my community also needs me. they need someone to handle catechism for kids this summer and been hoping to have my approval. i serve in a community where most children are exposed to some parents with wrong vices. i know this is about time that i have to be even more responsible for them. and i'm torn between work and my service to God (literally). i need the job to sustain my 'needs' but of course i NEED God in all ways.

kaya sabi ko uli, "si Lord talaga!".

i remember this passage, "man shall not live by bread alone but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God."

i can only be content.
i know God will still satisfy me.